DEADPOOL GOAN’ GIVE IT TO YA!

Monday , 6, March 2017 39 Comments

Awww, I grossed $783 million dollars worldwide and Warpig thinks Imma care what he says about my movie. That’s so adorable!

Deadpool sucks. And not in a small way.

It’s a repulsive pile of vomit that is nonetheless a very skillfully made movie. It’s notable not for any virtues to be found therein, but because it manages to make a cruel and brutal man into someone the audience genuinely roots for, genuinely cares for, and wants to see succeed.

The kicker is, Deadpool is an awesome movie. It’s a fun movie. It’s a funny movie. It’s a legitimate cinematic achievement, and not just because it’s the second-highest grossing R-Rated movie ever. It’s a genuinely entertaining film that earned every dollar it made.

Brown noser. YO CASTALIA! Why do you let this Warpig guy post here anyway? He comes across like a real douchebag, and that’s coming from me.

I’m a douchebag, Wade? Let’s talk about you.

Deadpool is not a hero. Deadpool sneers at heroes. According to him the main benefits of heroing are getting laid, “local dry cleaning discounts, [and] lucrative film deals”, and the drawbacks? “They’re lame-ass teacher’s pets!” And the movie goes out of its way to depict them as exactly that.

Deadpool is not a hero. He flagrantly, cheerfully violates the law in ways large and small, and not just because he’s a murderer for hire (“but with a heart”???) who runs a man over with a zamboni whilst torturing him for information about a criminal network. He stiffs cabbies, steals money from bystanders, and hires a hooker (also with a heart of gold), who becomes his One True Love. Without a thought for innocents or consequences, he causes a multi-car pileup on the freeway, then starts a gun battle amongst the wreckage, just to catch a criminal—all so the criminal can make him pretty again. (The ensuing action scene is amazing, which is kinda the point.)

Deadpool is not a hero. Foul-mouthed, brutal, murderous, he lacks even the humanizing touch of a shocking personal loss that could justify his bloody revenge rampage (as Frank Castle, the Punisher, has). In the end, he choses to slaughter his way across the criminal underworld not out of a drive for revenge, but because he didn’t trust his girlfriend enough to show her his scarred face.

Deadpool is a thoroughly pagan movie. It is entirely stripped of even a hint of Christian morality, or even post-Christian sentimentality. It lauds violence, almost worships violence, and a particularly ugly brand of violence at that.

Almost as ugly as Wade himself.

Sure, pick on the handicapped guy. What would you do if your face looked like this?

Go trick-or-treating at Leatherface’s house and scare him into a heart attack?

Hey, words hurt, you know?

Only if you actually have feelings, Wade.

I said Deadpool is a legitimate cinematic achievement, and I meant it. Like Memento and Pulp Fiction, it takes a straightforward story and makes it more interesting than it’d otherwise be by jumping back and forth in the timeline.

This is necessary, because under the skin the characters are a combination of one-note personalities and overused stereotypes. Lampshading blatant stereotypes—as Deadpool does in its impressive and imaginative title sequence—doesn’t excuse the fact that your characters are all 3rd generation copies of stock characters, all of which were better done elsewhere. (Deadpool himself excepted.)

The movie is relentlessly entertaining, imaginative, and vulgar. It’s so well done, it makes me weep.

Given all the nastiness it conceals and prettifies, I can only wonder what it might have been like if it had even a hint of Christian virtues, if there were even a touch of thematic weight behind all the flash and snark. But there isn’t. So what we’re left with is an amazing but unfulfilling film, a repulsive pile of vomit, notable not for any virtues to be found therein, but for the charisma and comedy timing of its star.

And also some dick jokes.


Jasyn Jones, better known as Daddy Warpig, is a host on the Geek Gab podcast, a regular on the Superversive SF livestreams, and blogs at Daddy Warpig’s House of Geekery. Check him out on Twitter.

39 Comments
  • Anthony says:

    I mean, they sort of imply a chance for evolution into a hero at the end. A little.

  • Tesh says:

    I will never watch the show, but I am somehow happy to see some filmmakers embracing their IP and making something the fans want, largely free (as I understand it) of PC, politics or other stupid focus study boardroom design nonsense.

  • bob k. mando says:

    i’m one of those rare few who didn’t care for the movie at all.

    there are a few ( very few ) vignettes which i found amusing. but if we’re watching this for the comedy, GotG ( which i also rated merely mediocre ) was at least as funny.

    thematically, the movie was uneven. plotwise, i could have driven the Rubber Ducky Convoy through it.

    and i really, really didn’t need the commemoration of International Woman’s Day.

  • Jill says:

    I didn’t even like the look of the trailer. I’m getting weird about R films, and not out out of prudishness, but out of a distaste for nihilism.

  • You forgot about the Lent joke.

  • Josh Young says:

    Well. This more or less echoes my sentiments, except a little more friendly than I would be. I don’t regret the five bucks spent to rent it On Demand, but the chances of me watching it ever again are slim. Very one note.

  • LD says:

    This post wasn’t amusing and Deadpool is as by-the-numbers, bland, boring and trite as it gets.

    You like it? Fine.
    But these mental gymnastics of trying to claim it’s some great, original movie is completely ridiculous.

    For a good review, breaking down this vapid bore-fest, watch Youtube’s “E;R” review of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipTD5MXHrBo

  • B&N says:

    The philosophy of Deadpool

    https:// www. youtube. com/watch?v=ZgQlwscDyus

  • B&N says:

    “Deadpool is a thoroughly pagan movie. It is entirely stripped of even a hint of Christian morality, or even post-Christian sentimentality.”

    Is it pagan or just non-Christian?

    • A. Nonymous says:

      One might argue that Deadpool is something of a Pelagian, since (in the comics at least) he’s often portrayed as being well-nigh obsessed with trying to find redemption for his dark past by offering his skills as a sell-sword to (hopefully) worthier causes.

  • Yeah, the character of Deadpool didn’t interest me at all, either the comics or the film. I didn’t think any of the bits I’ve seen in clips are funny.

  • DanH says:

    Yep.

    Looking forward to the next installment!

  • Pete says:

    Yeah, Deadpool is a mercenary for God’s sake. I thought we weren’t supposed to like Blackwater employees and the like.

    They tried to make the character likeable at the beginning, by having him protect a high-school girl from some beta/stalker.

    It was so laughably transparent I laughed out loud (and that wasn’t supposed to be one of the funny parts).

    What’s next, have Deadpool rescue a kitten from a tree?

    • A. Nonymous says:

      Yeah, Deadpool is a mercenary. So is Conan the Barbarian.

    • Anthony says:

      It goes back to what makes this movie clever, though: It’s an utterly transparent and manipulative scene that I thoroughly enjoyed because of how clever the dialogue was for Ryan Reynolds. They power through those tropes not necessarily by subverting them or playing them particularly well but through a clever and unique sense of humor that distracts us – some, apparently, better than others – from the manipulation going on.

      • NARoberts says:

        Yeah…They could have kept his amorality out of the picture by simply never showing him do anything evil onscreen. But then they have him advise his cab-driver buddy to assassinate his romantic rival…

        The movie makes it a joke, the character is serious. The guy is a psychopath. And the new Deadpool trailer is just the same way.

        There IS a disconnect between this kind of psycho humor and the “good guy” character we are supposed to be rooting for, and you are right on about the manipulation.

        Deadpool isn’t the only big R violent supermovie to come out in the past few years. The other two, Kick-Ass and Kingsmen, both at least kept the heroes from crossing any lines that would alienate a halfway-human audience.

        And then we have Mad Max, which I adored. Best movie in ages. One of my all-time favorites–except for the part where the “hero” is all ready to let the warlord’s escaping harem get recaptured so he won’t have to deal with them. What a brute! totally unsympathetic because that’s Hollywood now. I only wonder if they had to defile his character because he is a man or because he is the “hero.”

        • NARoberts says:

          And to follow up that rant…

          I’ve heard that Dante from Capcom’s Devil May Cry games was inspired by Deadpool.

          I was playing Devil May Cry 4 today, and what a difference! A protagonist who is actually a hero. A villain who is totally unsympathetic. A girl to save.

          The ending is glorious! Can you see this in a Hollywood movie: the hero confronting the defeated villain, as the latter begs his demonic god for strength–and the hero mocks that faith in idols. And he tells him that it is his inability to love that is his downfall.

          And then he skewers the villain’s black heart with the magical sword, and before the body can hit the ground he swings around in one smooth motion and catches the girl tenderly in his arms as she topples, fee from her magical prison…

          Can you see this happening in a Hollywood now?

          And when the young hero tries to give his mentor back the magic sword he is turned down, and told that it is now his.

          “I want to entrust it to you…what you do now, that’s your call!” says Dante as he walks away…

          So add in a lesson in self reliance on top of everything! I could go on forever, quoting from this series.

          Japanese folks aren’t yet afraid to make GOODNESS in their media. Of course this couldn’t come from the US. Of course Hollywood couldn’t do this.

          Of course not.

          • Anthony says:

            Also, it’s funny you say this. Take a look at my next post coming out, on “Castle in the Sky”.

        • Anthony says:

          To be clear, I’m not disagreeing with you. I’m just going back to what Daddy Warpig said about this being an utterly horrible, evil movie that is nevertheless extremely clever and skillfully made.

        • A. Nonymous says:

          *Is* the character serious? One of the defining traits of Deadpool, after all, is that he’s cognizant of the fact that he’s actually a comic-book character…

        • Andy says:

          And then we have Mad Max, which I adored. Best movie in ages. “One of my all-time favorites–except for the part where the “hero” is all ready to let the warlord’s escaping harem get recaptured so he won’t have to deal with them. What a brute! totally unsympathetic because that’s Hollywood now. I only wonder if they had to defile his character because he is a man or because he is the “hero.””

          To be fair, the whole point is that Max is really far gone, practically an animal now, and each movie after the first one basically does this “I’m just minding my own business, don’t care about anyone…okay, I’m helping you now” routine.

          • A. Nonymous says:

            Why would he want to deal with them? These women enjoy what’s probably the most privileged, materially-comfortable existence in the wasteland but still decide to screw everyone over and go on the lam in search of some elderly, hardscrabble lesbian biker-gang because feminism.

  • kfg says:

    “Deadpool is a thoroughly pagan movie. It is entirely stripped of even a hint of Christian morality, or even post-Christian sentimentality. It lauds violence, almost worships violence, and a particularly ugly brand of violence at that.”

    So, he actually is a hero then.

    • A. Nonymous says:

      Well, to put it into context, in Deadpool’s world, the “heroes” operate out of a luxurious mansion owned by a massively-powerful telepath who has absolutely no problem violating the privacy and free will of *anyone* to get his way and who follows a philosophy that essentially boils down to “is it good for the mutants,” while the nominal villain, a genocidal mass-murderer, is welcome to stay for tea whenever he can be arsed to visit. I’d pretty cynical about that arrangement too, to be quite honest…

      • kfg says:

        I was putting it in the context of the pagan Greeks, who gave us the word and initial concept of hero.

        Herakles murdered his wife and children in a violent rage. Odysseus was pretty much hated by everyone for being an untrustworthy weasel.

        And yet they are both heroes among the heroes. Not because they were good, but because their acts were extraordinary.

  • SteelPalm says:

    Nice review Warpig, although I was more lukewarm than you in both regards.

    “Deadpool” was a solid, entertaining flick with plenty of flaws both stylistic as well as thematic.

    In terms of morality, Deadpool was still more tame than the comic book version, who is often nothing more than a cruel, insane, sadistic villain.

    Of course, considering Ramsay Bolton was arguably my favorite character in Game of Thrones, I’ve always liked that version of Deadpool.

    Incidentally, the funniest part of the movie for me had nothing to do with the writing or direction.

    It took me a few moments, but I soon realized the villainess was played by Gina Carano, a former MMA star who every single MMA fan had a crush on circa 2005-2007.

    She retired young and started making movies, including a Soderbergh vehicle “Haywire” where she was the lead. However, it wasn’t long before people figured out that she can’t act to save her life.

    So in “Deadpool”, where she hardly spoke, I imagine the director told her,

    “Okay Gina, I went you to give me your BEST GRUMPY FACE! GRRR! And…go!”

    And this for every scene. Every time she made a grumpy, frowny face, I cracked up.

    It was doubly funny when if one knows that Gina is a former Catholic schoolgirl who has a very shy, soft-spoken personality in interviews.

    • A. Nonymous says:

      Which version of Deadpool would that be, exactly? Nicieza’s, Kelly’s, Simone’s, Way’s (shudder)?

      Kelly is, of course, the defining Deadpool scribe, and most of those who came after managed to cock up one thing or another to some greater or lesser degree, though not all of the later additions to the character were bad (dropping the confusing, never-resolved T-Ray sub-plot in favour of implying that DP is the prodigal scion of a Catholic military family, for example). Rick Remender also scores major points for having ‘Pool walk off the X-Men’s “black ops” X-Force team in protest of their plan to go back in time and kill the maniacal mutant overlord Apocalypse when the latter was a child and thus still vulnerable to conventional forms of death. When Wolverine, frustrated by this sudden distaste for wetwork, complains that DP shouldn’t be concerned because he’s “a tick, a bloodsucking mercenary with no heart motivated solely by money,” Deadpool shoots back “Yeah. But I never killed a kid.”

      • bob k. mando says:

        A. Nonymous says:
        March 7, 2017 at 9:33 am
        Kelly is, of course, the defining Deadpool scribe

        shut yo mouth.

        you didn’t even mention the definitive Deadpool author, Christopher Priest.

        • A. Nonymous says:

          Well, for one thing, I couldn’t remember his name for some reason (was half-convinced it was “Bishop”), and for another, I’ve always saw his Deadpool as basically being a straightforward continuation of Kelly’s in most respects (which isn’t in any way a bad thing).

          • bob k. mando says:

            that’s just because you’re racist.

            Priest / Jim Owsley is Black, you see. and was, back in the day, the youngest editor ever to work for a major. he started at Marvel in his teens.

      • SteelPalm says:

        Which version of Deadpool would that be, exactly? Nicieza’s, Kelly’s, Simone’s, Way’s (shudder)?

        I had to investigate this, as I didn’t recall off the top of my head. I read the comics when I was 10-12 years old, and at that age, one doesn’t pay attention to the byline. However, I do recall that these were dedicated Deadpool comics, and it was the early issues, #1-#20, as I didn’t read beyond that.

        This was in the late 90s and the Deadpool comic premiered in 1997, so according to that, it would have been Joe Kelly at the time.

  • A. Nonymous says:

    Since the OP seems to be arguing with Deadpool, it seems only fair that the former’s reference to the Punisher be responded to with DP’s assessment of the same:

    http://ifanboy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Uncanny-X-Force_29_Panel.jpeg

  • H.P. says:

    Would a good Christian young man like DMX agree to a pagan, non-hero using his music? I think not. Just kidding, the trustee in his bankruptcy totally would. Just kidding, DMX got kicked out of bankruptcy. Again.

    I watched Deadpool for the first time since I saw it in the theater tonight. It’s good, maybe the second best X-Men movie after Logan. Although I find the X-Men movies pretty impossible to rank. Everything with Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead is hilarious, and the action scenes are KILLER. A good reminder of how much I miss R-rated 90s action movies. But as slick as Deadpool is, it doesn’t have the emotional core of Logan.

  • […] before that and that happens after that is entirely reframed by that character and that scene. No longer is this a mean-spirited and cynical “Deadpool”-style parody of the superhero g…. No longer is the moral of the story that heroes are chumps and the public doesn’t deserve […]

  • Please give us your valuable comment

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *