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LEGEND is a dark fantasy adventure film, directed by Ridley Scott, starring Tom Cruise as Jack, Mia Sara as Princess Lily, and Tim Curry as Darkness, a traditional devil complete with horns and hooves. It’s a traditional fairy tale, with some of the lushest sets ever devised, and a brilliant costumed performance by Tim Curry. Even […]

The Girl With All The Gifts is crap. It’s worthless. It’s a big old pile of nihilist garbage. It’s a waste of your time and money, even if you get to see it for free. (See Opportunity Cost.) It’s so awful, it makes me angry. Now, I promised The-Powers-That-Be here at the blog that I […]

Deadpool sucks. And not in a small way. It’s a repulsive pile of vomit that is nonetheless a very skillfully made movie. It’s notable not for any virtues to be found therein, but because it manages to make a cruel and brutal man into someone the audience genuinely roots for, genuinely cares for, and wants to see […]

I remember THE GATE as the movie I didn’t get to see when I was a kid. Instead, I was dragged to an excruciatingly bad kids’ comedy that shall remain nameless, a comedy that I was forced to watch on three separate occasions. Almost thirty years later, I realized I never did get around to seeing THE […]

Excalibur is a 1981 British film directed and co-written by John Boorman, known for the bizarre cult classic Zardoz and the iconic hillbilly horror movie Deliverance. Excalibur is something extraordinary: a faithful adaptation of the King Arthur legend. It’s more faithful than Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, which is visually spectacular, but adulterates many […]

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