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Okay, I actually quite enjoyed this one. Everything was gorgeous. The bad guys were evil and decadent. The world building was extravagant. The life of every human being on earth was at stake. There were androids, rat men, humanoid dragon-people, guys with bird wings… all the staples from the pulp science fiction tradition, really. There […]

Powers Boothe died, and I grieved somewhat. CNN wanted me to remember him for—and they’ll burn in hell for this—”Agents of S.U.C.K.”. You soulless bastards.

It is time, oh my friends, for another one of those mild-mannered and completely restrained opinion pieces for which I am justifiably and widely renowned. But unlike my earlier, more low key efforts, today’s subject may provoke me to forgo my easy-going manner and get a little exercised, or perhaps even emphatic. Let us begin: […]

He likes it that way.  The whole “lonely hero” thing. The other day, with my wife out of town and having set aside my work at the early hour of 8pm, I was looking for something to watch.  I would up watching Hellboy for the first time in at least a few years.  I was immediately […]

LEGEND is a dark fantasy adventure film, directed by Ridley Scott, starring Tom Cruise as Jack, Mia Sara as Princess Lily, and Tim Curry as Darkness, a traditional devil complete with horns and hooves. It’s a traditional fairy tale, with some of the lushest sets ever devised, and a brilliant costumed performance by Tim Curry. Even […]

The Girl With All The Gifts is crap. It’s worthless. It’s a big old pile of nihilist garbage. It’s a waste of your time and money, even if you get to see it for free. (See Opportunity Cost.) It’s so awful, it makes me angry. Now, I promised The-Powers-That-Be here at the blog that I […]

Deadpool sucks. And not in a small way. It’s a repulsive pile of vomit that is nonetheless a very skillfully made movie. It’s notable not for any virtues to be found therein, but because it manages to make a cruel and brutal man into someone the audience genuinely roots for, genuinely cares for, and wants to see […]

I remember THE GATE as the movie I didn’t get to see when I was a kid. Instead, I was dragged to an excruciatingly bad kids’ comedy that shall remain nameless, a comedy that I was forced to watch on three separate occasions. Almost thirty years later, I realized I never did get around to seeing THE […]

Excalibur is a 1981 British film directed and co-written by John Boorman, known for the bizarre cult classic Zardoz and the iconic hillbilly horror movie Deliverance. Excalibur is something extraordinary: a faithful adaptation of the King Arthur legend. It’s more faithful than Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, which is visually spectacular, but adulterates many […]

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