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Electronic Arts (video game publishing superpower) is a pretty scummy company—voted “Worst Company in America” 2 years running!—but in the quest to milk every single dollar out of an increasingly alienated and cynical fanbase, they occasionally do something not completely horrible. (Or at least something marginally useful for the purposes of researching one of my […]

I had a terrible weekend. How about you? For my part, I spent almost four hours watching E3 press conferences, first EA’s, then the Xbox’s, then Bethesda’s. And after seeing presentation after presentation, and trailer after trailer, my response is this: Utter and complete stupefied boredom. Nothing excited me at all.

Fallout Shelter is a terrible game by terrible people. It’s completely awful, top to bottom, with nearly no redeeming features. “But it makes a lot of money!” So do crack kingpins. What’s your point?

What is it that makes awesome things start to suck? Star Wars, Star Trek, Western Civilization… I mean, there’s the Sickboy Theory—“At one time, you’ve got it, and then you lose it, and it’s gone forever.”—but that’s a mere description, not a cause, and it refers to people, not TV series or movie franchises. Though, […]

If I were to draw a Venn diagram of the artistic inspirations of the new video game Prey, there’d be a big blue circle marked “Bioshock” and a big red circle marked “Dead Space 2” and where they overlapped, all that purple space would be marked Prey. Now, I’m not saying Prey is ripped off from […]

Powers Boothe died, and I grieved somewhat. CNN wanted me to remember him for—and they’ll burn in hell for this—”Agents of S.U.C.K.”. You soulless bastards.

It is time, oh my friends, for another one of those mild-mannered and completely restrained opinion pieces for which I am justifiably and widely renowned. But unlike my earlier, more low key efforts, today’s subject may provoke me to forgo my easy-going manner and get a little exercised, or perhaps even emphatic. Let us begin: […]

Pulp. Undeniably awesome. Tautly written, unpretentious, imaginative, pure story from beginning to end. Even at its worst, it shot for a higher bar than any pretentious, whiny, narcissistic LitFic ever did. Which is why the bastards killed it. Or, at least, they tried. They tried to kill The Pulp, BUT THE PULP WOULDN’T DIE! As […]

Why is it modern comics suck so badly? It didn’t used to be this way. I recently had cause to read several issues of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man from 1983, and they were AWESOME. Sure there were WAY cheesy things happening—a girl with a secret crush on Peter discovered he’s Spider-Man, Black Cat (his current […]

The cry has gone out across the land: “So, Daddy Warpig, is all you know how to do is aggravate other geeks over the fact that the Pulps were, hands down no questions asked or needed, The Golden Age of Fantasy & Science Fiction?” I wish to reassure my millions of screaming fans that that […]

YES! It’s blog post time, time for me to crank out 900 words of scintillating prose in the form of a scathing review, a brutal editorial, or a brilliant and inspiring speech calling for the brave Pulp Revolutionaries to storm the citadel of Tradpub and cast down their Golden Idols. Hey, I’m Daddy Warpig—it’s what […]

Good Game Masters write their own stuff; great GM’s STEAL. SO LET’S TALK STEALING! He-Man is what you’d get if you crossed Conan with Shazaam (aka DC’s Captain Marvel): a muscled, superhero barbarian that a muscled, but mild-mannered Prince Adam turns into thanks to a magic sword. The main character of He-Man and the Masters […]